rivervox

so much time has passed since I've written. I'm 57 now. My birthday was a busy one because Violet's friend was here from Israel. I had a nice breakfast with croissants and got a Calamity Ware teaset. It makes me happy and feels like a positive step towards the life I want to be living. Anyway, I took a walk, did some work and then drove the girls to Back Bay to look at magnolias. We walked down the mall to the Public Garden and then back down Marlborough. A lovely day and a nice way to spend my b'day afternoon. At night we went to Veggie Galaxy and sat outside and had a great meal. It was awesome to be out in the city. Very tiring day but we finished up with cake.

Thursday was pesach cleaning day, plus a trip to Needham for another visit for Violet. I got to walk Kendrick, though it was cloudy and chilly. Honey came that night, late. Friday cleaning, cooking, chaos followed by seder. We were here and did a video call with the fam on Brook Street. DH and I walked Jamaica Pond Sat morning. Lazy day, followed by seder in living room. I cut my thumb really badly and had to wrap it up and keep it elevated. It was scary and I had to lie down for a while. I didn't want to go to the ER. Or spoil seder. Got through it. The wound is healing but it's still hard to do some things. I don't want to rip it open again.

Honey left Sunday AM. We had a cold picnic at Billy Ward with the Karpman-Horowitz fam. It was nice to see people, but I'm out of practice. We watched the latest Dr. Who together, then DH headed out for the midnight marathon ride. Violet watched a bad Barbra movie.

And here we are. Marathon. I walked up to the Butch today, through the barricades. It was enough. It makes me anxious. The noise of helicopters, the cops and military. The crowds. The memories. Is there a way to get past this? I think the Plague makes it worse. Rates are climbing. I just want to hide.

I need a day with no special activities. Just normal quiet. Spring continues in her relentless pace. Birds, leaves, flowers. We're all just holding on. Writing this all down will help.