rivervox

Everything went fine with Honey's trip. She was home early in the afternoon and we had a pleasant evening. Burritos for dinner, because I couldn't face more cooking. We watched some Thanksgiving TV shows and then Elvis while I made an apple pie. I made the macaroni and cheese earlier in the day. We watched the parade in the morning, then I got out for a walk before cooking in the afternoon. We had a good meal and played Clue and Timeline after dinner.

I wasn't happy with the food this year. The green beans were ruined; a watery sauce and burnt onions. I will make it again this week, with good old cream of mushroom. The pie crust for apple wasn't good, I will make it next time and the pumpkin pie crust wasn't cooked enough. But everyone ate and I didn't have a stressful day overall. It was just too much and I'm very thankful not to have to do that again for a year. I didn't want to say that at the table though! The one thing I did like making was candied yams, which reminded me of home.

We went to see Wakanda Forever at the Regal. We hadn't been there since Dec. 2019 to see Cats! It was fun to be out and those chairs are comfy. The movie was kind of a mess. At least three films crammed into one with shaggy plotting. But it was visually good and the performances were great. Happy to be at the cinema again with my family.

Feeling very detached and tired these days. Everything is too much. It doesn't help that I can't take my walks or be alone. Today we are meeting up with the rest of the family for a birthday party in a park. And Honey leaves early in the morning. I went to sleep at 9:30 last night, exhausted. Maybe it was the wine. Woke up convinced it was 5:30 or 6, only to find it was 2:30 AM. I got up and read for a bit, then tried to sleep. I'm getting good at the backwards alphabet and now try to think of words for all the letters.

When DH and Honey get back, I will get out for a walk.

On the plus side, I did a short yoga practice this AM. In a weird fugue state. I was exhausted yesterday and took a short nap in the afternoon. I was in bed reading at 9:30 and tried to go to sleep around 10 but it wouldn't come. Maybe it was the extra cup of tea? The nap? The war? The plague? Slept late and my watch says I almost got 8 hours. I'm not tired exactly. Just feeling adrift. Unfocused. Drinking coffee now. Let's see if that helps?

Things are about to get busy and I'm not ready. Masks are about to come off and I'm not ready. Spring is coming. Birds know. Trees. My blood is retreating from the challenge.

I drove to Violet to school and walked the Reservoir. I got Sandman to play again so listened to that. I'm going to buy the second volume when I finish with this on. Beautiful day with an exquisite October blue sky.

There's a lot on my plate right now. Or on my back? Birthday, condo mess, shows, website testing. It's affecting my sleep. The pandemic is this quiet stressor that makes everything else more intense. Reaching out for help at least. A caterer, a designer, colleagues. I need to make lists and remember that these things only seem to be happening at the same time.

Some good news on the condo in that we're going to get paid and approved to start working. But who to hire? I need help with the kitchen cabinets. Some wise counsel. It's good to have the luxury of paying people to help. I wonder if that's a class thing. If you're rich, you just hire someone. If poor, you call a friend or family member who does their best. But it creates connections and community. Capitalism not so much.

Still trying to treat myself kindly. Sleep and sunshine and Bach are my superpowers. I'm gonna make it.