rivervox

Today I walked around Leverett and Spot Pond while Violet was at rehearsal. Cloudy day in the 50's. We had some sun yesterday. I walked around the Brookline Reservoir twice. The cherry trees are in full bloom. I didn't miss it this year! In the afternoon, we went dress shopping to Frugal Fannie's and David's. Found a dress but it seems to have a complicated and revealing bodice that we need to figure out. I'd like to keep looking. Very stressed about that, as I know we need to get it tailored and find shoes and jewelry. It seems silly but things are hard for us. I worked at all four Progressions dance shows. No one else showed up. All I have left is the music festival. I suppose I should have done more to build up a team, but there's no communication mechanism. I'm glad to be on my way out and lay down this obligation. But I will miss it. The school, the energy, the performances.

We got the bathroom faucet fixed so that was a victory. Passover is packed away. Honey can come home in June! Inch by inch we move. to something better?

A bit more than halfway through. So many things to make: latkes tonight, spinach pashtida, veg kugel muffins. We had seder with the fam on night #1 and it went well, though more somber than usual as we remembered the hostages, the dead, and the terrible danger. Second night at M&S. There were about 15 people there, many highly knowledgeable and ready to rumble. But it was so nice to be among friends. In a place I feel comfortable. A very novel experience for me.

We had the BHS awards ceremony the next night, and Violet got a book prize. I'm very proud of her but it's a hard place to be. A difficult transition. Feels like running off a cliff, but let us think of it as jumping off a pier into a warm and wild ocean.

Yesterday I went to the Arboretum. There were cars parked all the way around, but I found a spot and went in the back gate. I went my usual route and it wasn't that crowded. I did see a lot of people down by the flowering trees near the pond and arbors. Hanami time? But people we taking photos of apple trees too. Anyway, lovely to get lost out there again. Those trees are so magical.

Violet was at a friend's house so we watched Disco and the movie Poor Things. I had really wanted to see it, and so I did and afterwards I felt brutalized but the nonstop sex, body horror and degradation of the lead character. Really icky. Not that imaginative in the end. Cool costumes and sets though. I don't feel challenged or provoked because I don't think there were many ideas behind it. Anyway, it was a nice break from our TV watching.

Planning on walking around the big reservoir while Violet is at rehearsal. Then prom shopping? My word for the day is ambitious and I've already been out shopping. Written this post and planned the day. Go me. Right off that pier.

We had a virus and a tropical storm visit over the weekend so there wasn't much of a holiday. Violet was sick with what seems to be a cold. At least tests were negative. COVID rates are surging. I did manage to get out, walking Jamaica Pond and Kendrick which was lovely. It was hard not being in touch with Honey for all that time.

The sun is out today and the sick ones are improving. Let's hope that I don't get hit with it later in the week since I have the big drive. Play rehearsals start this week, so we won't be able to leave until rush hour. Oh the joy. Oh! The Joy of going back out to the Cape. When the sunsets here while we have dinner, I look out and try to imagine that I'm out there. Out there, the sunset is blazing over Race Point. On one end of Head of the Meadow the sun sets while on the other the moon rises. It's still the same world, I'm just in the wrong place.

Current Mood: resigned

I went out to Kendrick Pond this morning. It was lovely. The water was very high due to recent rain and it was overflowing the path in some places. The depressions on the west side of the path were full of water and it will be mosquito heaven soon. I had thought about going kayaking but didn't get up early enough. Lake Cochichuate is closed due to algae bloom. I hope that I get to kayak on the Cape. I got out a chair and sat by the pond for awhile. All I want is to be outside.

The Cape. It doesn't seem real to me. I catch it out of the corner of my eye but it's not concrete. It doesn't occur to me that not working will be restful because what we're dealing with in our family is much harder than working. Can I have a break from that, please?

We've taken a step back, having been hit by lightning again. Gambling on a chance at a better life. Floating on trust and hope and about to slam into a concrete wall in Sept. I have only fear for the future. Nothing to look forward too. Beyond the vacation is darkness.

What else? We got an extra visit from Honey. We won't see her until she leaves camp. It's better that she's out of it. She has a future.

We visited Wheaton College, where the dorms look like hotels and the sports facilities are pristine. No town to speak of but lots of pick up trucks. Still, it's good to look, keep a hand in the game.

I've also driven more now and it's made me realize how small my bubble was growing. How nervous I'd become about driving. I went to Somerville first, which was somehow a big deal. Then Norton, then Palmer and back. When did I stop driving? When did I become so vigilant that it didn't feel safe on the road? My next drive will be to the Cape. No problem. Last weekend we went to Castle Island for awhile. So nice, again, just to be outside. To see the ocean and look out upon the curve of the world.

Carpe Aestas

Current Mood: melancholy

Down for a few days with a phantom virus. Had fatigue and swollen glands, then sinus pressure but it never manifested. COVID test was negative. Feeling better now but with stomach upset. Whatever it was, let us hope it passes over the rest of the family.

Reading Witch King by Martha Wells which is terrific. I did manage a walk at Leverett with Violet. Last night we watched Good Omens, Daisy Jones and Ted Lasso. I went out to get bagels this morning to taste the day and check my sea legs.

Perfect weather. Too bad I'm in the house.

Current Mood: tired

I went out to the Arboretum this morning. I chose to drive on the Jway, even though it makes me nervous. Bold choices today. Yesterday, I went to Somerville to the doctor and remembered how only a few weeks ago that trip made me nervous. I need to widen the circle. It got hot at the Arboretum and there were mosquitos. Will I West Nile? Stay tuned. It was nice to see it in full bloom. Rain the rest of the day. I'm painting my nails because we are going to see Barbie downtown tonight. Nice to be part of the Zeitgeist. And to get out of our habitrail. Yesterday was the last for my colleagues. It was very heavy on me. Still is. The other shoe dropped.

We have been getting the mail on Brook St. Violet has been playing keyboard and has now started playing our piano. It's great to hear. I got new glasses yesterday. I was astonishingly blind and now everything thing is in high def. And it's a mess. Is this a metaphor?

Last night we watched SNW, which was actually interesting. Tried making a Campari spritz to salute my comrades and soothe my mind. Turned out too bitter. Aperol is better. It was hard to go a week without seeing Honey. Soon it will be two weeks, then almost a year. We must try for the December trip. Ironically, she might have more time to talk when she's in Israel.

The future seems slippery and impenetrable. But we have Barbie tickets and plans to see Macbeth TOMORROW

Current Mood: melancholy

Yesterday I walked at Jamaica Pond. A beautiful day, outside. Honey is back. We have finally got the elixir and have some hope of relief. Last night we got food from Veggie Galaxy since Violet wasn't up for going. Watched Schmigadoon and Lasso, Parent Trap and Freaky Friday. I made brownies in the afternoon and listened to Irish Celtic Sojourn which is always pleasant. Today I hope to get the house in order..to fight back the entropy and put some things outside to give away. We are overwhelmed with stuff and need to make space to breathe. Especially as we may be stuck here for some time. Tomorrow is a holiday, but not for me. I hope it passes quickly, like Dec. 25. "What did you do over the weekend? " Survived.

Current Mood: depressed

I went for a walk this morning. Funny to be out on a spring morning deeply entrenched in the politics of 1536 and Henry's privy council. Gorgeous day after rain yesterday. It was a fine day to spend in a theater watching kids make art. Violet was up and out early, and though we bit our nails, she triumphed. Now a day to recover. Honey is on a train to CT en route to a few days at Nyack for work. We still need to deal with all of her stuff, which is making our little space more crowded.

I could title this post SNAFU, since nothing has changed, but at least we have moved through these big stressful events. The wheel turns and we keep struggling on. Doing the Next Right Thing.

Current Mood: okay

A rough ride this week, but I woke up today. Never been this age before. My friend didn't make it this far. I thought 57 would be awesome. I was wrong, though perhaps I shouldn't blame the first 9 months of the age.

Very warm today. I walked at the Muddy. Also did some yoga. Otherwise work. It's hard to have a decadent birthday during Pesach but I've got some goodies lined up for tonight. One more day of matza. Last year it was easy but this year it was another burden.

The sabbatical is off, so that's a bittersweet relief. Plans afoot for next week. Taking it one thing at a time. Every burden I lay down makes me lighter.

Current Mood: melancholy

I walked at Leverett this morning. Earth, water, trees, sky. Listening to Bono's book. Honey's flight was cancelled and rebooked, so far so good. We'll be going to BMC in two weeks to see her Clytemnestra. Last night the kids went to A Cappella fest, where Violet performed Improv. We all went Friday night. Seth visited yesterday which involved housecleaning and masks but I think DH enjoyed it. There were a lot of things this week (birthday, Purim, Honey home, MD appts, college zoom) and so there is some hope that this week will run more smoothly. Unless the time change slams us into the rocks. I had a good visit with my doctor who is helping me with things. Relieving my mind on many fronts. This is the first time I've written in 13 days, so that's encouraging.

Just looking at my last post on Sat. Feb. 25 and I was worried about Monday. In fact, lightning struck again that day and we've been spiraling ever since. Here I am dreading the time change. Brave heart. Ocean breath.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: Saint Paul
Current Music: Mendelssohn

Cold today but I walked out a Leverett Pond and listened to LeVar. Wonderful to have his voice back in my mind. It was icy so I mostly stayed on the paved paths. It felt good to breathe the cold air and look out at the snowy woods. If only it would continue.

We took the day off yesterday. I got some tasks done in the morning and then we went out to visit Orchard House. It was an amazing experience. We went to the school building/barn first for a introductory film and into the house. It was cool being in the 17th c. building which is well-preserved and furnished as if the family just stepped away. When we went upstairs to Louisa's bedroom, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Such a powerful space. The tiny desk where she sat and wrote. Owls surrounding her. It was only the three of us plus the guide.Her hair combs, her books, her carpet bag and sewing things. I think part of it was that it's both the author's space and the space of the imagination of the of her stories. Not just in Lou's room, but to see that box of costumes. Downstairs we saw Alcott's parlor, where he taught and hung out with Emerson and Thoreau. Again, the room so well preserved that you felt the presence of the past. Emerson was here. I was too.

I think this kind of experience crosses over a threshold for me between fiction and fact. Yeah, it's cool to visit Paul Revere's house, but he doesn't live in my mind like the March family. It's similar to the Downtown Abbey exhibit. To visit an imaginary place, familiar in my mind, made real is a different kind of uncanny valley.

We got some snacks, drove out to Walden and then home for dinner. Books, bed. Today the young Miss has a party. I have some yoga and reading to do. I'm glad we took the day because it does feel more relaxing, like I already too the edge off. If only I could get over the fear of Monday AM.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Location: Saint Paul

Limping along living by 12 step program sayings. Late morning so I didn't get any exercise. I will walk at lunch time. My walk yesterday involved errands, but at least I got out. I did yoga at night which was light but good. I really crave yoga now. Sunday I walked at Leverett and also the Fens when I took Violet to her lunch party. She also had a Galentine's party. We watched Northern Exposure and Andor. Saturday was the bat mitzvah, which was OK and then the skating party at night. I put on skates but was very unstable. Maybe it was the hockey skates or maybe my lack of balance. Still it was glorious to be out in the night under the big trees and sky.

Crawling toward the weekend, but eating a vegan sticky bun. Be here now in the gooey cinnamon goodness.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: Saint Paul

Just home from a trip to the Natick Mall. Boots and shoes were tried, some clothes were bought and we got out of town. I walked at the Arboretum this morning and as I drove out there, I felt a sort of resistance. I was uncomfortable driving beyond Brookline. Just a little, but the membrane was there and it inspired me to get free of it. Our lives have become so small. Circumscribed. Very orderly but limited.

Last night we watched the Banshees of Inisherin which was perplexing. Plus a Northern Ex and a fun Wellington Paranormal.Violet was at a cast party which cause some nervousness but she had a good time and we all survived. Gearing up for BHS tomorrow. Early morning. G-d willing we make it.
Saturday I walked Jamaica Pond, which was chilly but pleasant.

This day is so gray that night will be welcome. Spring plans need to be made.

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: Saint Paul

The show is over. It was wonderful and Violet was clearly the heart and star of the show. All that anxiety has blown away but we are now in the Vale of Tears after the play. I'm hoping now that we can get on track for school with more time and less stress.

Yesterday, I went out to Kendrick. Funny how it calls me sometimes. It was wonderful, but felt like a long walk. I've cut down on my walking since Blitz and it's showing. Keeping up with yoga is great but I need to do 2 mile walks a few times a week. I did one this morning too, and old route by Lawrence, Longwood Mall and the beech trees, then down to the river and back. The Silmarillion is more interesting at this point, with the tale of Turin. It's interesting that the Elves behave just as badly as humans. I was struck by the death of Beleg, whom Turin kills after being tortured by Orcs, when he has come to save him. One must imagine Tolkien would have seen soldiers wake up fearful and fighting in the war. I almost wonder if there is a specific incident. I remember stories, from maybe my stepfather, about being wakened from bed after his service and trying to strangle his mother. Anyway, I very compelling tale. I wonder why the Rings of Power show left all of this out. Interesting to learn that the dwarves were there before the Elves.

Yesterday I did extra yoga for my hips and baked cookies. We had Thai food and watched the end of the Sound of Music and Tick, Tick, Boom. DH and I watched Reservoir Dogs. It's hard to watch things together now. No one gets to watch what they want. We are all made miserable by trying to do it together. Sigh.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: Saint Paul

DH and I walked at Leverett today. It was good to be in the woods again. Last night was Improv. Fun to go out on a Friday night. Don't tell. Getting ready to send Honey back to school tomorrow. Just like that it's over. She's congested and feeling tired. We're hoping it's just jet lag and maybe a little cold. Time to get ready for dinner, pho I think and some visual entertainment. And laundry.

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: Saint Paul

My daughter climbed Masada today and rode a camel. When I was her age, I had never been on an airplane. This is who we are now. This is why I work. That they should have a new world and a firm-footing in it. I was thinking about lining my snow boots with bread bags this morning and how we never did that for our kids. Admittedly, boot technology has improved and they spent much less time outside than I did in the long winters, but if they had leaky boots, I would have bought new ones. I think we all had snowmobile boots. Rubber bottoms with felt liners and nylon tops. We could get them at Agway and they were a necessity.

Yesterday was terrible. I did manage to take a sunny walk around the Reservoir listening to the story of Beren and Luthien. Nice to have a fairy tale in the midst of the lands and wars and migrations. Did my yoga, but it was the sleepy one which bugs me. I got very little sleep due to being upset.

Today was better. I went for groceries but will do yoga later and maybe walk to the bakery for baguette. Word of the day is courage.

Brave hear.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Saint Paul

I walked at the Reservoir in the fog this morning listening to the Silmarillion. We got to school on time today and that is something to celebrate. We watched Andor last night. Did laundry. Much excitement. Doing OK with our far off child. It's probably easier because she's in college most of the time. As long as we they don't have earthquakes, missiles from Iran or another Intifada, I'll be OK and just worry about her getting COVID. Good times.

Yesterday I read How to Keep House While Drowning. It wasn't helpful for housekeeping for me, (though the shame piece was resonant), but it was enlightening about the challenges that some people face. It gave me compassion for the folks I know with ADHD and depression. I can't imagine some of the things described in the book. It's like speculative fiction to me. Clean up the trash and dishes in your bedroom - why are there dishes in your bedroom? And don't you have a small trash can there anyway? Why would you need a laundry basket in every room? Do people take off their clothes in random places and throw them on the floor? I can see how important this book and its message is though. Do you ask someone with a broken arm, why can't you just type or use a pen? When I had a bad hip, why did I just wear slip-on shoes? Would someone call that lazy? Such stigma. In the end, it makes me thankful for my exec function and motivation privilege.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: Saint Paul
Current Music: Handel

I started the morning with yoga, then walked around the neighborhood. I had sneezing attack last night which was placated with drugs. I feel a bit tired and have some sinus pressure, but otherwise feel fine. Thankfully. We had an appetizer feast last night and watched the Doctor Jodie Who finale. Such fun. And then Wednesday.

Today we are off to Chatham to see humans and walk about the town. Warmer today, but cloudy. Accomplished a few things this morning which should help me relax.

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Location: Anawon Road

I drove out to Cook's Brook this morning but the beach is covered with snow and ice. I turned around and drove out to Nauset Light and walked to Coast Guard listening to Silmarillion. It's probably a mile each way in the sand. Hoping to rouse the kids and go on another outing.

Last night I made enchilada casserole. We watched the Peripheral and the kids watched Wednesday. DH has to work today so he's got to go to bed early and get up for biking. Our time together slipped away when we weren't looking. I stayed up and watched Grantchester. Reminding myself to do the things on My List and set goals. Yoga later today.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Location: Anawon Road

I went out to Jamaica Pond this morning and listened to LeVar. It's cold and gray today with a vague promise of snow. Things got better over the week. No more twitches. Better sleep. May it continue.

This week we watched Rings of Power and The Peripheral. I'd like to see something that's not dark and miserable this weekend. Need to finalize Chanukah. Plan for the Cape.

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: Saint Paul

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Entries tagged with walk

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