Surviving

Oct. 15th, 2022 02:03 pm
rivervox: (Default)
I spent the morning at the high school, while Violet took the PSAT. She argued that it's a normal part of teenage life so she lost sleep and had stress and took the meaningless test. I had a fine time. I walked around the park, listening to Sandman, read my book, enjoyed the sunshine and fall weather. It was much better to be there than to be 10-15 minutes away, feeling sick and clutching my phone. Probably crazy, but I think it was a harmless way to deal with my anxiety.

My anxiety. I have called on some help and I will meet with a counselor this week to talk it through.

Honey goes home early tomorrow. We'll see her again at Thanksgiving. Never enough time but not enough space. Always that stress and sadness.

"And surviving is the only glory in war, if you know what I mean."

Ten eleven

Oct. 11th, 2022 09:53 am
rivervox: (Default)
It's a Monday/Tuesday. I had to visit the school nurse this morning so no walk for me. Best I can do is a Trader Joe's trip later today. Low key weekend. I walked Leverett yesterday and cooked a mushroom farro casserole and an apple crisp. Lots of chag. Honey went to shul alone this AM as DH has to work. Violet is stressed but had no Episodes. Debating whether or not to have her take the PSAT. It's unnecessary and very stressful right now. The only reason to do it is because everyone else is. I'm supposed to go to FoPA tonight. I probably will. Before the world went sideways, the trip to LA was truly a breakthrough and a pinnacle for my life. Now it seems like a dream.

OK. Sun is up, sky is blue. I'm housed, employed and healthy. Suck it up.

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