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May. 3rd, 2021 10:03 amA pickup truck full of wooden chairs. Apple blossoms. Lilacs. Goslings. Violets. A morning walk well spent, listening to Levar out along the muddy.
In about an hour, I get my second vaccination. I'm looking forward to it. Not nervous but not having coffee this morning to keep my system calmer. I did some yoga yesterday which was quite vigorous for me and it really helped my mental state. What a surprise!
Yesterday, Violet and I went out to Walden Pond and had a nice walk. It was long for her but she'll soon get in shape walking to BHS! She inspires me to do these things, even when I defeat myself by worrying about crowds and traffic. That's why it's good to have young people around. And it helps me to try and break the cycle of assuming the answer is no.
Saturday, I walked around Jamaica Pond in the morning. In the afternoon, we drove to Quincy to the beach. And I felt nothing. Dread at first, then...nothing. Greenish water. The walls of that compartment are solid. Violet sensed it, that the door was closed. I thought about vacations, maybe Acadia some day soon but that just exposed the divide. The misalignment of our views of the future.
I'm in the cancer zone, just waiting to see what kind I'll get and if it's survivable. Retirement is a distant island across shark-filled waters. We saw Nomadland on Saturday and it was profoundly affecting. Beautifully shot and strongly written. Very, very relevant to the place I find myself and it's given me new insight. New coals on a smoldering fire of discontent.
I need to keep Violet's YES in mind. May is the month of Yes, in which we abolish the negative thoughts. Smell the flowers, get the jab, eat the vegan muffin.
In about an hour, I get my second vaccination. I'm looking forward to it. Not nervous but not having coffee this morning to keep my system calmer. I did some yoga yesterday which was quite vigorous for me and it really helped my mental state. What a surprise!
Yesterday, Violet and I went out to Walden Pond and had a nice walk. It was long for her but she'll soon get in shape walking to BHS! She inspires me to do these things, even when I defeat myself by worrying about crowds and traffic. That's why it's good to have young people around. And it helps me to try and break the cycle of assuming the answer is no.
Saturday, I walked around Jamaica Pond in the morning. In the afternoon, we drove to Quincy to the beach. And I felt nothing. Dread at first, then...nothing. Greenish water. The walls of that compartment are solid. Violet sensed it, that the door was closed. I thought about vacations, maybe Acadia some day soon but that just exposed the divide. The misalignment of our views of the future.
I'm in the cancer zone, just waiting to see what kind I'll get and if it's survivable. Retirement is a distant island across shark-filled waters. We saw Nomadland on Saturday and it was profoundly affecting. Beautifully shot and strongly written. Very, very relevant to the place I find myself and it's given me new insight. New coals on a smoldering fire of discontent.
I need to keep Violet's YES in mind. May is the month of Yes, in which we abolish the negative thoughts. Smell the flowers, get the jab, eat the vegan muffin.
