Growing Up

I broke my tooth again. I cycled through a few feelings: denial (it's fine), avoidance (there's no way I can get an appt. this late on a Friday) and finally resolve. I called the dentist and got an appointment tomorrow. What interests me is how quickly I went through this. I'm learning and changing old patterns. When I was younger, I assumed the answer was always no. Bothering other people was my top concern. My own welfare was at the bottom of the pile. I didn't dare to ask, reject or say no. I have had to learn these things. Another thing I'm working on is making choices that make me happy. Not buying the cheapest thing I can grab, but taking time to find what I want to wear. Sometimes I think, "I'm 5? years old, I get to have the xxx that I want!". I literally have to remind myself. I have little mantras that I practice like "I am the client" here. No chance of me becoming a raging Karen asshole. I've worked on being more assertive and it actually works. This makes me hopeful because it shows that you can change your reactions to things. It may not be your first response or even your second, but by being self-aware you can coach yourself to a better outcome.

In other news, we had a busy week with MCAS and MD appts. The List is getting smaller and I'm calming down a bit. Thankfully, the heat broke. It was so oppressive. I'm staring to look forward to our week in Ptown. I have checklists and schedules and they will fix my tooth and I will drink champagne!